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　　Scores of women wondered,in some cases a little nervously,what they might be doing to puzzle,annoy and generally stump the men in their lives.Wonder no more.Here,just a few of the ways women make men crazy.
　　I'm convinced that she sprays my closet and the sheets with her perfume.Everything I own smells like flowers.
　　她一準是用香水將我的衣櫥和床單噴了個遍，我所擁有的每樣東西聞起來都有花香味．
　　If I'm doing the dishes,she gets between me and the sink and does them,too.If I'm cooking,she gets between me and the stove,stirs,tastes,adds pepper.The only place she doesn't step in front of me is at the toilet.
　　我如果在洗碗，她就站在我和水池之間；我燒飯，她就站在我和爐子之間，又攪、又嘗、又加胡椒．恐怕她惟一不能站的地方就是我和廁所之間！
　　If you open the refrigerator,you take your life in your hands.There's leftover turkey on top of yogurt on top of cottage cheese.If you're looking for,say,the mustard,you've got to unload shelf after shelf to find it,and then you've got to get it all back in.
　　你打開冰箱時，無異于是拿自己的小命冒險，酪農干酪上架著酸奶，酸奶上架著剩下的火雞．比方說，你要是想找芥末，就得先將一層又一層的東西拿下來，再將它們一層一層地放回去！
　　She turns to me and,in all seriousness,asks"What was I just going to say?"
　　她轉向我，滿臉嚴肅地問：“我剛剛說到哪兒了？”
　　Her purse weighs more than she does.Whatever you need,it's in there:Band-Aids,aspirin,chewing gum,a tooth-brush kit,matches,probably a couple of hand grenades.
　　她的錢包比她的人還重，你可以在里面找到你所需要的每樣東西：創可貼、阿司匹林、口香糖、一套牙具、火柴、興許你還能找到幾只手榴彈！
　　She clears the table while you're still eating,gathers up the newspaper while you're reading it,has your clothes in the washer before they hit the floor.
　　你還在吃飯呢，她就開始清理桌子；你正讀著報，她就開始收拾了；你脫的衣服還沒落地呢，她就將它們扔進了洗衣機！
　　No matter what she's doing,she exercises.She jogs in place in the bathroom while she brushes her teeth,does leg lifts in the tub,stretches when she towels off.The woman never sits still.
　　她無論做什么都不忘鍛煉．她在浴室里慢走，刷牙時，練習抬腿運動．擦干身體時，就做伸展運動．這個女人從沒一刻靜止的時候！
　　She talks in food.Her dad is a peach;her sister's husband is a clam.Depending on her mood,I'm either dead meat or prime steak.
　　她用食物來形容一切：她爸爸是只桃子，妹夫是蛤蚌，在她心情不好時，我就是一堆臭肉；她心情好時，我就是上等牛排．
　　She wears these false eyelashes.She left them lying around and I slammed them with my newspaper,trying to kill the damn things.Scared me half to death.
　　她總是戴著假睫毛．她就那么隨意擺放它們，我還當它們是什么東西呢，就直用報紙去打，試圖殺死它們．簡直把我嚇了個半死！
　　She can't stand it if anyone talks down to her,but she reserves the right to play dumb when she wants to.She's talked her way out of a hundred traffic tickets by batting those lashes.And she manipulates me the same way.It works every time.
　　她最恨人居高臨下地對她說話，但當她需要時，她卻保留了裝傻的權利．她就那么撲閃著睫毛，擺脫了不下一百次被開罚單的命運；她也用同樣的方式來操縱我，這法子每次都奏效！
　　When she's mad or upset,she plays this old simon and Garfunkel song over and over and over.'Bridge Over Troubled Water.'It's a nice song but after two or three hours of it,I'll apologize,promise whatever,say anything,just to get her to stop playing it.
　　她發火或是感到煩心時，就一遍一遍地放那首《憂愁河上的金橋》．這確實是首好歌，但在聽了兩三個小時之后，我會道歉，許任何諾，說任何話，只求她別再放了！
　　She grunt while she cleans the house.Dusting a shelf,polishing a table,she goes,"Uh,Ungh.Umph."I offer to do it just to stop the noise.
　　她一邊打掃衛生，一邊咕噥個不停．不論是抹架子還是擦桌子時，她都會“啊，嗯，哼”地哼個不停．我自告奮勇去幫忙，只為不要聽這噪音！
　　She uses the tenu"we"all the time."We like such-and-such.'We think so-and-so.As if we're one being one brain,one opinion.'"
　　她總是用“我們”這個詞兒．我們喜歡什么什么，我們認為怎樣怎樣，好像我們是同一個人，共用一個腦袋，擁有同樣的主張似的．
　　Her nails are so long that if she ever made a sudden fist,she'd slash her wrists.
　　她的指甲留得太長了，她若猛一攥拳，定會割破手腕．
　　She's always on the phone.I put in an extra line,so 1 can make a call now and then.But when 1 pick it up,she's got some-body on hold.
　　她總愛煲電話粥，于是我又裝了部電話，以便自己偶爾也能打打電話，但當我拿起話筒，發現她正讓人在另一頭等著呢！
　　She cries easily.Happy things,sad things,future things,past things.Things that haven't happened.Things that might News stories.TV commercials.A flower.
　　她特愛哭，高興的事、悲傷的事、未來的事、過去的事，都能讓她流淚．為根本沒發生過的事哭，為可能發生的事哭，為一個新聞故事，一則電視廣告，一朵花而哭．
　　When she's depressed or has had a bad day at the office,she drowns her sorrows in chocolate.A double hot fudge sundae,or devil's food mocha cake.But she won't have a drink with me.Too many calories.
　　當她情緒低落，或在辦公室里度過了令人不快的一天后，她就借猛吃巧克力來消愁．但她卻不愿和我一起喝一杯，理由是卡路里太多了．
　　Nothing's wrong with her.She's perfect.Has no faults at all.And she agrees with me about that.
　　她絕對完美，沒有一點錯誤或不是：在這一點上，她和我意見一致．
海外英語合肥G381中學外語教與學20022002男人心思你別猜，看過下文就明白！黃斌The many ways women Drive Men Crazy 作者：海外英語合肥G381中學外語教與學20022002男人心思你別猜，看過下文就明白！

網載 2013-09-10 21:42:55

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